** In response to a deflamatory post on G's board **

Awesome, if a post like this had gone ignored there might have been hope for any of you little ignorant fart sniffers. In fact everyone who responded to this post is stupider than the stupid posing poster postboy. In fact there never ever was a group of people more retarded than those who frequent this page.
You all suck you insignificant little sucker sucks. If I had a lollipop to suck for every time you suckers suck, I'd still wouldn't suck as much. All I'd have would be a room full of empty sucker sticks and a whole lot of contempt for the senseless suckers who forced me to become a sucker sucking diabetic phuck.

Why don't you all drop dead, and while your dropping dead, I'd imagine it'd be a good time to review your pathetic little lives...

Like that time that Dan got caught in a soccer net, lost his balance and fell, wedgying himself into the tight nylon ropes, and wriggling like the stupid retarded fish we all know he is. Ohh he claimed to be drunk, but he wasn't. Just retarded and horribly mentally incapable of manuvering about simple obstacles. Wendy's being the only place where such buffoonery could possibly be tolerated.

I'm sure you all have similar stories, take the time Matt attempted to run down a steep hill, crusted with scraggly sharp rock. Yes letting all caution and common sense (not to mention the basic human instinct for self preservation) fly right out the window, Matt hurled himself down that hill reaching terminal velocity right before his feet gave out and he slammed into the rocks like a big wet bag of cement. He still bears the bruises as proof of his stupidity.

Ohh yes, I can hear you all say, "what about all the stupid, retarded and incomprehesible things that you have done, Mr. Highty Tidey Charles?"

Well, it has come time that I let you all in on a little secret. I am what you would call an "anthropologist" (a people studier for you morons) sent from a time and place unfathomable by your mere human intellects. I am one of many sent to study and prepare earth for its eventual obliteration. By blending in and feigning participation in your stupid insignificant lives I was able to study first hand without interrupting any of your daily goings and doings. Yes the person you all know as "Chuck" is actually playing the part of an anthropologist in an intergalactic reality show, sponsored by parties I will not name at this time.

I have broken cover to warn you all, The End is Forthcoming. Planet Earth TV is being cancelled.

Panic. Kill. Destroy. Copulate irresponsibly. Hell, it's good TV.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This has been a message from Channel 1274070148964001676340679034614-613-46--1646389761--1-=1409164, we now return you to your regular programming already in progress...


0 comments