News to no one!

April 1st “Poisson D’Avril” : It was a tradition not so long ago when I lived at home, to stick fish about the house and upon each other on this day. The house quickly would start to reek so this tradition was quickly abolished.

I had promised a gamely coworker that I would prank him good this year, and I always follow through.

Before he arrived at work I switched his keyboard and mouse connectors into their opposite ports. This was just a warm up however…

When he went on break he forgot to lock his workstation, mistake #1.

I proceeded to take a screenshot of his busy desktop, then I hid the desktop icons and moved the taskbar to the top of the screen and hid it as well. I then edited the screenshot with the words April Fools… sucka! centered on the screen, made to look as though I had typed them in a blank field.

When he came back he started clicking about furiously, checking his mouse connections ect. Checking his task manager, alt tabbing through his programs. The poor bastard couldn’t figure it out. He even rebooted but it came up the same way. Good laughs were had.

Score one for my old skool l337n3ss.

April the 7th : I get paid… increase my stock of WMDs.

April the 9th : Matt’s Bash… always a good time… now with more dogs! Terrorizing the sleepy town of Fort Augustus is my second favorite pastime.

April the 13th : My birthday… I’m turning 21. I guess that means I’m officially no longer a teenager. No more sneaking into the Burger King fun land (naked) and lying under the multi-colored balls (patiently).

April the 16th : Kill Bill 2 comes out. Plan on getting “enhanced” and taking in the beauty that is Quentin’s perverted mind. Last time our posse included Matt, Andrew and Myself. I paid for all I believe, Matt paid me back… Andrew I killed and buried upright in a marsh. This time more of you lazy fuckers had best make a showing.

April the 17th onward : Wishing away the snow. The mild temperature and brown grass fuels my excitement for baseball and all things summer. I plan whole heartedly on playing in the Kings County league this summer. Those Winslowpokes are too much trouble to manage appropriately. Anyone interested in having a catch can email me or call my 1-900 number.

After over a year of being highly classified, I will now release the username and password for the Stratford team page.

Go here Chufre's Palace and enter in the following information: username = stratford – password = rawlings

Make sure to check out the team message board. Hours of paranoid ramblings and top secret discussions. As well see how fat we have all gotten since last year by viewing the long lost riske photos.
0 comments

I used to like climbing to high places (especially at construction sites) and leaping through the air onto the packed dirt below. How I never broke a leg I don’t know, and my ankles are still shitty. The immediate danger wasn’t my concern however, I was doing my part to jump start evolution...

One day man will fly, it’ll take sacrifice and a strong Darwinian conviction, but we just need to pull together. I believe all we need are some psycopaths, convicted rapists and other career criminals with are making no good contribution to society to be heaved off cliffs in all manners of shapes until we find that one gifted individual that floats for a second before smashing into the scraggly rocks. We then extract DNA from that person and cross pollinate the clones with the subject that flapped his arms the most. By continually doing this and recruiting new volunteers, I believe that eventually we will be left with a human that can flutter briefly in air, under their own power.

This is just the first step however, and funding costs would be huge. If you would like to donate to this project, or just for more information please contact me: dreamtofly@flyboy.com
0 comments

Hey Hey! A new post for the 5 people that may at some time read this.

I’m on my lunch right now, sitting at my training desk at Aliant HQ Charlottetown. I’ve moved to the Shangri La of customer rep jobs. I can feel the horrid nature of Watts slowly seeping from my veins, replaced by the gentle serenity of leather break-room couches and salary stepping after six pm.

I’ve been a busy man of late. Many different projects pull me in varied directions. I’ve joined a Call of Duty clan The Art of Warfare as well I play badminton twice a week, I also play with my girlfriend and too much on the computer.

Simon the Cat likes scratching at things thus keeping me up all night long. Last night was particularly bad. As well, Smeagol the Hamster is too fat for his wheel and makes a horrible racket.

I’m getting into the gym regularly working on a new strongest range of motion principle. By working in the strongest range of motion and using the heaviest weights I can recruit and exhaust the entirety of the muscle group that I am focusing upon as well as the supporting muscles. While “full range of motion” has always been a staunch stricture in the weight training world, it often isn’t entirely effective. You are limited in that you can only lift as much weight as you can handle in your weakest range, this often times will lead to plateaus and dangerous cheating. If you want my full treatise however you will have to buy my upcoming book, “Being Chuck, A Guide”.

I am also starting training on my A+ certification, as well as assorted CISCO courses. These are all available freely through Aliant/Bell’s online training center. Even though I do plan on making a triumphant return to University, I will be keeping my mind sharp by cross-training in as many disciplines as possible.

Wow! You're finished... now forget everything I told you. 0 comments