God's Own Electric Circus

Well I'm on a 12 hour shift today. Which wouldn't be so bad normally, but since this one runs 8pm to 8am, I'll be breaking new ground in eye ball exhaustion. Right now I'm listening to Radio Head and Pearl Jam and drinking Tim's English Toffee. These things alone are repelling the early morning madness. Poor Jane is also along for the 12 hour ride tonight, but she's a super trooper who's well used to these ungodly hours.

Last night was BMW M5 Test Drive #2. We (Squish, GuestX and I) finally beat the beast up to a record speed of 230km/hr along a well lit (by our xenon lamps) winding stretch of rural pavement. We maxed out right before going over a slight hill, and temporarily lost all traction as the gracefull sedan went airborne. And for a moment we were soaring through the night fog on a wingless metal bird... Then after mocking several inferior machines during high speed passes, and some all out rubber melting power slides we dropped off GuestX and went on the odyssey that was refilling the gas tank. With a super automated car like the M5, where no ordinary function doesn't have a switch or lever, you would assume that the fuel tank cover had one as well. So there we sat, parked at the Winsloe gas station, in a 110 thousand dollar car surrounded by the Winsloe yokels. At 11:00 o'clock two hoodlums parked with the lights on as they desperately search for the gas cap release in a car which obviously was stolen a short while ago. Franticly grasping and reaching around in a vain attempt. Being paranoid I suggested relocating to a less populated area to continue the search. Finally after at least 20 mins and increasing anxiety, Squish discovered that the way to open the damn thing was simply by pressing on the near side.... But I mean who'd of guessed?

After that adventure I took a cab to the party for about 5 mins. then leaving (sober), and going to Myrons (sober). Where I stood around (looking sober and acting sober), until closing time when I decided to make my way home. As punishment for my sobriety the good Judge recommended a regiment of forced exercise, so I walked home...The last time I did that same walk I was drunk and it didn't seem as long... But that's always the case.

Time for the drunk rating...
#1-Matt
#2-Rob
#3-Steph
#4-Andrew....
Unlisted--Chuck :'(

Drunk rating disclaimer: The maximum error attributable to drinking conditions and stomach capacity is plus or minus 0.01 blood alcohol percentage. If you feel you have been misrepresented or malpositioned on the Drunk Rating please contact the Administrator.

If you haven't already please visit my new page and/or link appropriately :)

Feedback would also be nice, as it spurs me on to do bigger and better things for your optical and intellectual pleasures. 0 comments

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Yesterday was phase one of Spring training. The crew consisted of one Robert Macmillan, one Crazy Dwaine Bird, and Myself. It took place in the parking lot of the Gray, right under the brilliant lights of the old Winslonian stomping grounds. Symbolic? We played from dusk, until the daylight completely faded. The ever-waning light making every subsequent throw of our dirty water-logged ball all that much more dangerous.

There were a few Special Olympic scouts out to view our performance. It is good to see interest this early in, but for the most part they pretended to be picking bottles or walking small children. Which is understandable as you don't want to let on early who you're planing on drafting to the Allstars.

Dwaine seemed to be having trouble holding on to pop flyes, and blocking grounders. At first we attributed this to our rusty baseball skills, but as it continued even after the warm-up we could see that there was indeed a severe problem that was inhibiting Ernies catching ability. It wasn't till sometime later when we had bought our popcorn and harrassed Walmart and were back at Dwaines fab pad, that the problem finally came to light. We were playing computer hockey when I spotted a tiny-totts baseball mitt sitting on the bedstand next to a large container of Tuna Helper. It must be a sentimental souveneir from mosquito I rationalized... But no, this tiny pint-sized mitt was Dwaine's game glove. The thing was barely as big as his hand for Christ sakes!

"Why would you buy such a ridiculously small glove Dwaine," I questioned.

"'Cause it was cheap," he replied laconically.

"It was cheap because it's a f**cking 12 years olds glove you moron!"

To which Dwaine shrugged and zenly utterred, "myeh!?"...

For the rest of the night we played PS2. Where Dwaine showed great poise during his GTA chainsaw masacres, I think he's a natural... I left my PS2 in his care, so he could further hone his skills.

PS: If for some or any reason my PS2 or any of its components are broken, damaged or in any way altered from their original condition.... Your (Dwaine's) life is forfeit.

PSS: Input is needed regarding times and locations of our next practices, please view the message board concerning this matter. 0 comments

Tears of the Son

Today my work week begins anew. I had Wednesday and Thursday off. A temporary reprieve from the ignorance and moral depravity of the cyber world that I now patrol. Hell, it still beats taking it in the ear from cranky 40+'ers who're mixing their med's with alcohol and indignant stupidity. Nothing made me happier than finally handing in that damned headset, other than the realization that I was finished talking to those people...

On Wednesday Stephen H. and I went to see Tears of the Sun the war movie starring Bruce Willis as the maverick Navy Seals Commander, who decides to do the right thing. I was drawn to this movie after playing many and many an hour of SOCOM on PSII. Tears is not your typical war movie, it quickly degrades to more of a socially conscious, humanitarian action movie. And It seemed as though the ending was missing the typical American Flag waving motion bit, synonomous with most US propaganda videos.

The movie's plot surrounds a fictional coup against the Nigerian Democracy, and the ethnic cleansing that follows as the new "muslim" regime takes power. Lt Waters (Willis) is forced by his heroic and selfless conscience to go against the rigid mission objectives and to save as many people as possible from certain and brutal death.

Tears of the Sun almost bridges the gap between the grissly war movie and humanitarian documentary genres, but in this case falls short of capturing the true complexity of the stories characters. Instead Tears of the Sun comes off as a generic film with stagnant stereotyped characters.

Credit does go out to the director (Antoine Fuqua) as this film is shot first rate with many excellent fight scenes and excellent use of the Nigerian (Hawaiian) scenery. During one scene however, when Willis is talking (via radio) to his Commander who is standing on the runway aboard a large carrier ship and although this conversation couldn't have lasted more than a minute and a half, 4 jets land, and two jets take off. This was very hard to believe until Steve pointed out that on the commander's very visible watch hands three hours pass during this conversation. Also at the end, you may notice that although, two Hornets take off with not much more than an extra fuel tank, by the time they arrive over Africa they are carrying a full payload of Maverick ATG missles. These few inconsistencies aside, I give it a 3 out of 5 Chufre stars.

Thursday night was left to playing pool with my father, at which I beat him 4 games to 3, and Trivia. Although the Trivia experience was lessened by the fact that I had to sit in the middle of the floor without a surface to drink on, and that some asshole left the outside door open all night. After drinking a few glasses of complimentary beer (thanks Rob) my night was cut short as I had to pick Jane up from work at 12, and go to work myself for 8. Unfortunately I set the snooze wrong this morning, and didn't get to work till nine.

BTW - I get off at 4 of the clock, if anyone is interested in having a game of catch gimme a call or leave a message on the MB, I'll be home and bored all night... 0 comments

Congrads to Michael Moore, for being the only one with true balls at the Oscars. While everyone stared gape mouthed he attacked everything to do with the current Bush Administration. And when asked backstage if he feared his comments would get him black-listed in Hollywood, he calmly told the press, that he receives his funding from Canadian and other outside backers [rough translation: "F U Hollywood"]. Really though, his former work demanded this speach... Because what is Bush really doing with this war? He's telling the youth of America, solve your conflicts with violence!

"Little Molly, why bring an apple to school for your teacher. That bitch gave you homework on your birthday! Bring a MAC10 in your Blue's Clues lunchbox. That'll teach the school Administration! It'll prove to them that you aren't taking any guff when it comes to your own private interests."

The upset of the night was definitly when Roman Polanski was named Best Director for The Pianist. When will Scorsese finally get the recognition he deserves? Most of my favorite movies are directed by him: Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, and (the masterpiece) Goodfellas. But instead they give it to Polanski the Polock. Not to be harsh on Roman Polanski, since he did have a difficult childhood (caused by Hitler and his Nazi invaders) but even that doesn't excuse statutory rape of minors...

I haven't yet seen Gangs of New York, but that isn't Scorsese's fault. I didn't see Gangs simply because not only does Leonardo Dicraprio annoy the Christ out of me, but in this film he plays an Irish gangster!!? Daniel Day-Lewis would be reason enough to see it, but still any appreciation for this movie would be offset by Leo's shitty Irish accent, and worse acting. 0 comments

Hey Saddam, why not spare so many innocent lives and give up? Ya friggin egotistical meglomaniac! Bush will only pile through Bagdad with his human cowpusher leaving a wide trail of blood and misery in it's path. Until he finally succeeds where his father never could...

Why can't they just take their differences and egos and put them where they belong. In a high stakes celebrity boxing match. Yes, think about the ratings and how much money the US government would save (let alone lives). We all know that Bush would get his pansy ass whoopped! But that's why they would have to go through 3 months of intensive training (I'm sure no one would miss Bush around the White House). The cameras would of course follow them through-out the training. Hell we could bring in guest celebrity trainers...any suggestions... vote them in!! If Saddam wins, the US rebuilds his palaces, and stocks his weapons caches. If Bush wins Saddam is shot, a US implemented party takes over, the US gets unfettered access to oil stores, and maybe the Iraqi people get a hot meal...

The world isn't this simple yet. But wouldn't it save so much? CNN would go bankrupt mind you... 0 comments

So I tried to put frames on my page... Not good. Frames are simple enough to construct, and in most cases usefull... but not when you don't own your website. I found this out the hardway... After spending several minutes completing the template I tried hosting it on several sites, everytime I did the page was flooded with ton's of ads. Rendering it completely useless.

Not much going on. Spring raised her glorious head, then was buried by more damn snow.

I miss summer. Walking the bridge into Charlottetown, hanging around, drifting aimlessly, returning at 5 am the next morning. Tired and satisfied. Stalking Mr. Bean, Smoking in the Scary Spot, hotboxing open cars, vans, trucks, entry ways. Buying the hard stuff from the red house, drinking behind the farmers market, before checking out little squirts. Crazy times of electric spiders, giant butterflies, beach parties, and second degree burns. Great home movies eh Rob.

But enough of the reminiscing for tonight. If anyone is online gimme a shout out, I'll be at work most of the night. Ciao. 0 comments

The one night I can't go to trivia because I had a final test (which if I failed I would be fired and homeless) you bastards actual win. I mean we came close before, but to actually win that's unheard of. Just my luck! Next week fo sho! 0 comments

This is what I have to deal with.... Jane wants a Chow Chow. Personally I'm afraid of them. Who knows what a dog who's facial expressions are masked by cute fur might be thinking... 0 comments

I just got around to checkin a couple of sites. Special kudos go out to Rob for his piece on emo music, couldn't have said it better myself. Special thanks to Gabrielle and her indepth purse expose, very informative... 0 comments

I hope you all like the new template. Yes Dan I do know that it does have an error, in this case it's intentional. Not much going on, even less time to write about it... I'm training for MSN right now, learning how to keep those filthy mouthed kids quiet, and the porn peddlers gone. So looks like Andrew will have to find another IRC to monger his kiddie porn on. Cause there's a new Sheriff in town. PS Were looking for more Sheriff's if your interested and available to start training ASAP. Come by and fill out an application, technical skill is a requirement...

To my faithful readers I apologize for the lack of content, I have had nothing to write about, as I've done nothing of any consequence lately. What is needed is an event of some kind where liquor and drugs are involved. Either or. But something worth writing about...

Sorry to say it boys, but Thursday nights have been lacking in the crazy drunken fun department. Mostly due to empty seats being snatched up by nasty pariahs; empty seats caused by a lack of drunken comrads. Really, get your asses in gear. There's nothing better to do on a frozen Thursday besides sit and drink cheap beer and ridicule each other. It sucks when you have to sit with parasites, who don't even realize when you're bashing them. They'll just sit there slack jawed and laugh when they see everyone else laughing:

Parasite: Ha, Ha, funny, you so funny Andrew!

Andrew: I'm going to stab you in the forehead :)

Parasite: *confused look* Ha, ha, funny, you sooo funny Andrew! *grabs Andrews crotch*

(this is bad on it's own, but it also makes Rob really jealous, and he gets cranky when he's jealous, then he starts to smell funny, but thats a different story...)

You get the point.

Mind you there are some people who can be tolerated. Some people are even encouraged! But Jesus H Christ take a hint, when you're unambiguously asked to leave, or benignly threatened.

Remember the 20th is Dwaine's b'day. Yes Dwaine, remember that fat bastard? Well you're all coming because a drunk Dwaine is always a fun Dwaine.

Well I'm winded.
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